Scars
by Lissa88
Summary: What if Sara hadn't just been over the legal limit? And what if her problems only got worse? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Scars**

**Summary:** What if Sara hadn't been _just_ over the legal limit? What if she had been much higher and her problems only continued to grow?

**Rating:** PG-13, may become R later on for thetheme and language.

**Note:** First snicker (SORTA, I don't know if I want romance) fic... well TECHNICALLY. I didn't post my other one, it wasn't complete and now it's gone cause someone deleted it. Sucks huh?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own CSI. I do not own CSI. continues to write 100 times on the chalkboard I do not own CSI. And I also don't own Scars by Papa Roach.

**Spoilers: **Bloodlines

Sara grabbed Nick's arm as they continued to walk down the Strip. "Hey Nick, congratulations on your almost promotion. Seriously, you deserve it."

"Wow." Nick began with a smile. "That's really hard for you isn't it?" Sara smiled back.

"Yeah. It is." They both laughed and continued walking down the Strip. Nick walked Sara to her car.

"Well, I'll see you at work tomorrow." Nick said as he opened her car door for her. She entered into the driver's seat.

"Have a good night, Nick."

"You too." he said with a smile and a nod, and walked away to his car.

* * *

Nick's telephone was ringing in his bedroom. He struggled to find it in the dark as his tiredness was affecting him. He muttered a sleep 'hello' into the receiver. He snapped his eyes open when he heard the person on the other line. "Is she okay?" he asked. "Alright, I'll be right there." He pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. 

Nick practically ran into the police station. He went over to the desk where an officer was sitting. "Sara Sidle?" he asked. The cop pointed him towards the cell a few feet away and went back to his papers. Nick went over to the cell and looked in to see Sara sitting on a bench with her head hanging low. "Sara." he said to announce his prescence.

"Oh God... what are you doing here Nick?"

"Grissom's on his way out of town. The cops called him. Then he called me." She wouldn't look him in the eyes. She looked so ashamed. "What were you thinking?"

"I don't know..." Nick could tell by the tone of her voice she was obviously wasted.

"We'll talk about it later. I'm gonna go pay bail and then we'll take you home." He walked away to go pay the fee to the officer as Sara watched from her cell.

* * *

Nick had gotten Sara into her bed and was now sitting on her couch staring a burning candle. He kept trying to think of things to do, he wasn't sure what this was going to do to Sara's life. He didn't take his eyes off the candle as he pondered what she could do now. Her job was gone, that was a guarantee. Nick heard stirring and footsteps coming from Sara's room. He heard her door open and she slowly emerged, looking horrible. She held her head in pain and when she saw Nick her eyes went wide. She just stood there staring at him for a few moments and he stared back. She could see he was upset with her. She finally took her eyes off him and directed them towards the floor as she took a seat next to him on the couch. Nick looked at her slouched form. She stared at the floor intensely as her shoulders hunched over so much you'd think she was a boulder. Sara finally broke the silence in a mere whisper of "I'm sorry." Nick reacted immediately in anger at her. 

"What were you thinking?" he said, raising his voice louder with each word.

"I wasn't." She whispered again and didn't look up from where her eyes stared at the floor.

"You're damn right you weren't!" he stood up and waved his arms around at her like a mad man. Sara didn't dare look Nick in the eyes. "You do realize your career is over, don't you! You're unemployed! You have no job! I don't know how you could do something so stupid!"

"Please stop yelling." She said calmy, but on the verge of tears. Nick almost felt bad for her, but then he remembered this isn't the time. This isn't a time for sympathy. Sara's shoulders began to shake as she sobbed and put her face in her hands. Nick took his place next to her again and let out a long sigh.

"What do you want to do here, Sara?" he said in a calmer tone. She lifted her head and wiped fiercely at her eyes.

"Maybe..." She said having a thought. "Maybe Grissom could - " Nick cut her off.

"No. No Sara, this is it. Your job is gone and you have to deal with it. Begging to Grissom isn't going to help you, you broke the law, you know the rules." She stood and began pacing the floor.

"Could you leave?" She said as she continued her pacing.

"No." he told her. She stopped walking back and forth and pleaded at him with her eyes.

"Please." she asked, firmly.

"I said no." he matched her firm tone with his own. She began to stomp to the kitchen as she yelled out "Fine!" at him. She opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of half-filled vodka. Nick followed her into the kitchen and saw what she was holding. "Sara!" he yelled at her, as if he was a parent who caught his little girl drawing on the wall. He yanked the bottle from her hand and had to play keep-away with her.

"Give it back!" she screamed, reaching up where he held the bottle over his head. "It's my house, my vodka, my life!"

"Yeah, and i'm _your_ friend!"

"Then as my friend, do me a favor and LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Nick gave her a cold stare and walked over to the sink. He poured the vodka down the sink as she watched, giving him the most evil stare he'd ever seen. He placed the bottle on the counter and walked from the kitchen. He turned back as he grabbed his jacket, shook his head disappointedly at her and slammed the door shut.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nick walked up to Sara's apartment door and hesitantly knocked. He felt bad about last night, but he needed to be there for her. She needed someone right now, she had just lost her job and was on the verge of having a serious drinking problem. Sara opened the door in sweat pants, a t-shirt and her hair was pulled up in a messy bun. She didn't look like she had showered and she seemed to have just rolled out of bed. Sara sighed in defeat and without a word, stepped aside and let him in. She then went back to her spot on the couch where she was picked up a beer on the table, took a drink from it and kept her attention on the television.

"What do you want Nick?" she said as she didn't move her eyes from the screen.

"What are you doing Sara?"

"I'm watching the news, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you have a beer in your hand and judging from the kitchen, it looks like that isn't your first one this morning." He told her sternly.

"Nick, if you're gonna just stand there and lecture me, I want you to leave." She continued to watch the TV and didn't look at him.

"Sara, why don't you tell me why you're acting this way?"

"Acting what way? I got one DUI, suddenly my whole life is fucked up?" She finally looked at him and now her eyes were flashing anger.

"You didn't just get one DUI. You're also drowning your sorrows in alcohol, so yes I would say something is 'fucked up.'"

"I don't have any problems okay? Even if I did, I certainly wouldn't tell you." she walked into the kitchen with her empty beer bottle and took out a bottle of water in exchange for it.

"Oh look, something that _isn't _alcoholic!" Nick said sarcastically, but still angry.

"Get the hell out of my house, okay?"

"Why wouldn't you tell me Sara? Why _won't_ you tell me?"

"Just leave!" She went back to the couch and went back to watching the news but Nick came over and turned the television off. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" She stood up and pushed him.

"Sara, I'm your friend, okay? I'm here to help. Just tell me what's wrong!"

"If you were my _friend _you'd respect my privacy!"

"Not if it's gonna get you hurt or ruin your life!"

"I'm FINE! Okay! Just get out before I call the cops!"

"You wouldn't call the cops!" he challenged her.

"Wanna bet!" she challenged him back. He headed for the door, but before he left he got one more comment out.

"This isn't over Sara. I'm not gonna just let you throw away your life." and he left in a huff out the door.

* * *

Grissom was sleeping in his hotel room when his cell phone rang. He sat up and felt for it in the dark. When he found it, he tiredly flipped it open. "Grissom." he muttered sleepily. 

"Grissom... I need your help."

"Nick? You do know I'm in LA right?"

"Yeah, but it's about Sara."

"What's wrong?" Grissom said, flicking on the lamp next to his bed.

"Well, you know she got a DUI. She just... She won't stop drinking. And she won't tell me why."

"Slow down. She's drinking a lot then?" Grissom asked.

"Yeah. She was trying to drink vodka last night. I went over this morning, there were a few empty beer bottles scattered around her apartment." Grissom sighed and thought for a minute, trying to figure out what to say.

"Nick... we can't do anything if she won't open up. We can't help her if she won't accept it. She has to figure this out on her own before we can do anything."

"Griss, we're her friends. She needs help."

"She needs to accept the fact that she needs help first, Nick. Rome wasn't built in a day. Okay?"

"Alright then." he said, letting out a deep breath in response.

"Okay. I'll see you when I get back."

"Enjoy LA." Nick said, and then hung up with his boss.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Note: Remember the dude from Family Matters who played that shrink in season 1? I'm building that into this.

"Dr. Kane, thanks for seeing me."

"Sure, Nick. Anything for a collegue." Dr. Kane told him. "So, what did you want to see me about?"

"Sara."

"Oh... Yes, I heard she lost her job. Why?"

"She got a DUI."

"Oh." He said pondering the explanation.

"I wanted to know if you would talk to her... off the record. At least at first."

"Sure, Nick. Just, uh. Bring her down around 3 okay?"

"Thanks so much." he said, getting up and shaking the doctor's hand.

* * *

Sara heard a knocking at her door and rose from her place on the couch to go answer it. She looked through the peep hole and saw Nick standing there. She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Go away Nick!" she yelled.

"Come on, Sara! Let me in! I need to talk to you!" he screamed at the door. Sara thought for a minute and just leaned against the door. Nick started to walk down the hallway and towards the elevator when the door opened. Sara stepped outside into the hall.

"What do you want?" she said bluntly.

"Go get dressed. I want to take you somewhere."

"Nick, I don't have time for your stupid little games." She went back in and was ready to slam the door in his face, but he pushed it back open.

"I think you do." he said sturnly. Sara glared at him, then rolled her eyes again and went back to get dressed.

"Where the hell are we?" Sara said as they walked into the office. They walked over to Dr. Kane's door where Sara read aloud, "Dr. Kane. Psyhologist... You're shitting me right?" she said angrily as she turned back to Nick.

"You need help Sara."

"You asshole!" She pushed him and he slammed against the wall as she walked out of the office. Nick went after her and grabbed her arm, but she grabbed the magazines on the table in the waiting room and starting smacking him with them. Then she smacked him, hard, across the cheek and he released her arm. She scurried out of the office and left Nick standing there with a red hand print coming in on the left side of his face.

* * *

**_I know, really short chapter. But it's all about timing and knowing where to stop. I wanted to stop here. _**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Note:** This is gonna start getting a little more intense. I think PG-13 is still an appropriate rating, but it's getting heavy.

It had been about 2 weeks since Nick and Sara's incident at Dr. Kane's office. Nick was going to try to call her to see if she was okay, but after what happened at the doctor's office, he decided to listen to what Grissom told him and let Sara come to him. The lab pretty much returned to normal without Sara around. Greg had told Nick he tried to call Sara a few times but she wasn't answering. Nick figured she was screening her calls to make sure it wasn't him, or was sleeping... or drinking. He felt bad about sitting around and doing nothing, but he figured he really didn't have any choice. If he didn't stop trying to help Sara, she'd probably get a restraining order or something. Nick was sitting at home on his night off and watching a football game. It was a rare rainy night in Las Vegas and he heard the thunder crash and the lightning flash through the window. He heard another noise that wasn't thunder though. He thought it was tapping. He turned down the television for a moment and heard the tapping again, at his door. It was so very quiet and small. He walked over to the door and opened it. He then saw a dripping wet Sara standing in front of him. She was wearing shorts and a tank top and was soaked.

"Can I come in?" she asked quietly.

"Sara, you're covered in water! Are you trying to catch a cold or was nothing else clean?" he said, addressing her attire. Sara walked in without saying another word and started to cry. Nick, confused, followed her as she walked around his living room and then she buried her face in his shoulder. He hesitated at first, taken aback by her sobbing on his doorstep, but then he rubbed her back in comfort. "Sara, what's wrong?" he said softly as he continued to rub her back. She mumbled something he couldn't understand as she didn't lift her head from his shoulder. "Come on, let's take a seat on the couch." She released her grasp from him and continued to let out small sobs as she sat on the couch. He sat next to her and held onto her hand. "What's the matter?"

"I-I-I was evicted." She tried to get out as she cried. "I didn't have enough money to make rent. And... And I had to walk over here, cause the lab wanted their SUV back." She wiped her eyes and inhaled a shakey breath.

"Where's your stuff?"

Sara pointed towards the door. "I brought what I could." She was beginning to calm down a bit now.

"Okay, you can stay with me tonight, alright?" Nick said as he went towards the door to get her bags. Sara nodded and tried to stop flowing tears.

* * *

When Sara woke up that morning, she realized Nick was still sleeping. She tip-toed to her bag which was still in the living room and took out a kit which was hidden in one of the zipped sections of her luggage. She snuck back into the bathroom, looked around in the hallway and then shut and locked the door. Nick heard noise outside of his bedroom and went to investigate. He heard cluttering in the bathroom. He tapped lightly on the door. "Sara?" he called out. Sara threw everything she had out on the sink back into the kit quickly while telling Nick "I'll be out in a second!" She shoved the kit back behind the cleaning products underneathe the sink, turned on the sink and washed her hands. She opened the door and greeted Nick with a smile. 

"Hi." she said and walked past him into the kitchen. Nick looked around the bathroom but saw nothing out of the ordinary. He shut the door and followed Sara out into the kitchen where he saw her drinking a glass of water.

"You okay?" he asked, feeling suspecious about something. She drank down the remains of her water and placed the glass in the sink.

"Mmhmm, fine." she told him and nodded reassuringly.

"I need to go to the grocery store. Are you coming?"

"No, I'm good." She smiled innocently at her friend. Nick gave her a weird look but ignored it.

"Do you want anything?"

"Nope." she smiled again and he grabbed his keys on the counter and headed towards the door.

"I'll be back in about an hour, okay?"

"Alrighty." Nick left and Sara waited a few seconds, watching the door, making sure he wasn't coming back again. She then went back to the bathroom and opened the cabinet doors to find her kit under the sink. She reached back and felt it then took it out. She placed it on the sink and opened it. She pulled out a small syringe filled with a clear liquid. She pulled off her shirt and was now clad in her tank top. She took off the belt she had around her waist and tightened it around her right upper arm. She took the syringe and pressend the needle into her arm. She winced and shivered as the liquid spread throughout her arm. She leaned back against the wall and started to cry.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Note: **It's gonna seem pretty out of character, but she's drunk and high. Who wouldn't not be themselves? And also, I know NOTHING about heroin, do not mock my info! Cause it's probably very inaccurate!

**Spoilers:** Nesting Dolls

Nick came home carrying a couple of bags of groceries. He spotted Sara sitting in a chair and she looked like she was crying. Nick placed the bags of groceries on the ground and walked over to her. He placed his hand on his shoulder. She jumped under his hand and was suprised to see him. She turned toward him, her eyes bloodshot and tears streaming down her cheeks. She stood up when she saw him there.

"Sara?" She began to pace the floor. "Sara, what's wrong?" he asked, concern dripping through his voice.

"Leave me alone." She said quietly.

"Sara..."

"Leave me alone!" She screamed and started walking back into the bedroom. He tried to put his arm around her shoulder and talk to her but she pushed him away violently.

"Sara!" She kept walking away from him. "Sara, what's wrong!" He kept following her.

"You wouldn't understand." She said calmly at first.

"Sara." He kept trying to calm her down.

"You wouldn't understand!" She screamed now.

"Sara."

"Quit saying my name!" She put her hands over her ears and walked out into the living room again, taking a seat on the couch and keeping her hands over her ears and her eyes closed. Nick knelt down in front of her.

"Sara. Tell me what's the matter." he said, grabbing her hands and taking them off her ears. She continued crying hysterically.

"He killed her."

"What?" Nick said, confused.

"He killed her!" She yelled and fresh, hot tears found their path down her cheeks.

"Sara, who killed who?" he asked.

"I was watching the news." She sobbed out. "And this man was torturing his girlfriend and he cut her up! She was pregnant!" She started sobbing even more.

"Sara..."

"You woudln't understand! You could never understand!" She said, getting up again and pacing hysterically. Nick came over and embraced Sara.

"Shh... Sara, it's okay." She shook her head ferociously as she cried on his shoulder.

"No! It's not okay. It'll never be okay."

"What will never be okay?" Nick asked.

"My life." she broke down into hysterical crying and her legs gave out as she began to collapse, pulling Nick with her. He rubbed his hand in circles over her back and rocked back and forth as she continued to cry to him.

* * *

Nick caressed Sara's hair as she lay there, her head resting on his lap. She stared directly ahead and hardly blinked. She had stopped crying and now seemed dead to the world. She sat up and seperated herself from Nick, moving away from his spot on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. She sighed deeply. "I never understood people." She said quietly. 

"Sara... Let me in." Nick said, taking her hand. She sighed again.

"You know, Nick, your family is really important to you. I know you come from a big family. My family was just as important to me. But... Well, when your family is ripped apart and your thrown into a new life, a new family that won't except you, that importance isn't a part of your life anymore. It's gone. But... you need that importance. If you don't have it, you'll never feel complete." Nick sat, waiting for her to continue on. "I never really told anyone about my family. That's what is so messed up about me. My mother is in jail, Nick. Do you know why?" Nick shook his head in response. "She killed someone... My father beat the living shit out of her. He never touched me. I couldn't understand why he would be so cruel to her and never touch me... I guess jail is better then the hell hole that my father created. She killed him in his sleep with a knife. She even turned herself in for it." Nick watched her intently and just let her speak. Silent tears began to slip down Sara's cheeks again. "I thought I could handle it... I was fine for 20 years... and now look at me."

"Sara, you weren't fine. You pretended to be. You can't hold that kind of stuff in." He finally spoke, trying to comfort her.

"And now it's exploding out all at once." She said, tearily. She got up and began to pace... again. She ran her hand through her messed up hair and wiped her eyes off. "Nick, you've been such a good friend through this." She said through her tears. She walked over to where he was sitting and hugged him. Nick, not knowing what to do, hugged her back. It was scaring him how much she wasn't acting like herself. She pulled back and walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Nick watched after her and noticed something on the counter when she passed by. He walked over towards the counter and picked up a small, black kit.

"Sara, what is this?" Nick asked, looking around the outside and getting ready to open it. Sara dropped the glass she was holding and ran over to him. She snatched it from his hands.

"Nothing." She lied, and plastered a smile with it. "It's just a manicure kit. You know, cuticle scissors, nail clippers, file." Nick gave her a weird look as he watched her go over to where her suitcase was and hide it inside there. She walked back into the kitchen and began to pick up the glass. Nick watched her suspiciously and leaned against the wall. When she finished with the glass, she yawned. "You know Nick, I'm sorta tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed." She said and walked from the kitchen and back into Nick's guest bedroom. Nick watched after her until she closed the door. He wasnervousabout these odd moodswings she seemed to be having. One minute a mess, the next calm as a cucumber.He shrugged off his odd feeling and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth for bed. When he got in there, he saw a small needle on the floor that had rolled back behind the toilet. He picked it up and examined it. When he realized what it was, he went out of the bathroom and went over to Sara's suitcase. He found where she had hidden the black kit, and he opened it. Inside he saw nothing that had to do with manicures. He inspected the needles and syringes filled with the murderous liquid. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, then put the kit back.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sara blinked her eyes and rubbed at them as the sunlight streamed into the window in the guest room. She pushed herself to sit up and looked around the brightly lit room, letting her eyes adjust to the illumination. She slowly emerged from the bedroom and walked out into the living room where she saw Nick's back. He was hunched over and sitting in a chair facing the window. "Nick?" She asked and he slowly turned around. He didn't say anything, he just stared at her. "What?" She said. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He still didn't say anything as he got up and began to walk towards her. She backed up a little in response as he came towards her. He grabbed her right arm gently and rolled up the sleeve to her sweatshirt until he reached the point where he saw about 10 little puncture wounds. Some were healing over and a couple looked newer. Sara looked down at Nick's hand resting on her arm and brushing his fingers over the scars. Then he turned his attention to her face. Sara looked up into his eyes and saw one thing: Pure rage. She snapped her arm back and rolled her sleeve back down, backing away from him more.

"How long have you been doing this shit, Sara?" She focused her eyes on the ground and didn't say a word. He walked over and pushed her against the wall. "Answer me!" he yelled into her face. She slid past him and walked away.

"It's none of your business." She said quietly.

"Who gave you the drugs Sara? I wanna know and I wanna know now dammit!" He followed her and continued yelling at her. She kept walking away, but he kept follwing her.

"Just leave me alone, okay! It's my business, not your's!" She screamed right back.

"You're in my home! You brought that shit into my home Sara! What's wrong with you! Do you know how much trouble I could get into if anyone saw that stuff in my house!"

"It's not your's! You wouldn't get in trouble!"

"I want you out!"

"What!" She screamed, confused and angry.

"You aren't gonna be doing drugs in my house Sara! I'm not gonna be putting up with that!"

"I can't just leave! I have no where to go!" She yelled, beginning to cry now.

"That's not my problem!" He threw the black kit into her suitcase and dragged the bag along with him into the guest room. He grabbed all of Sara's clothes and belongings and tossed them all into the bag, zipped it up and threw it at Sara's feet. "Get out Sara! I'm not kidding! I want you to leave!" He yelled at her. She picked up the bag and headed for the door. Before she left though, she grabbed Nick's keys off of the side-table and ran out the door and down the hallway and towards the stairs. "Sara! Those are MY keys!" He said, wanting to go after her and get them but he figured he couldn't catch her in time. He went back inside and held his head as he flopped down in his recliner.

* * *

Sara had been driving around for about an hour now. She stopped off at a liquor store and bought a six pack of beer with the small amount of money she actually had. She drove along the backstreets of Las Vegas and sipped her beer. She saw lights suddenly coming around theturn in the road as theyapproached the car. She swerved out of the large truck's way before she hit head on with him. She turned around to look at the truck and sighed in relief. When she turned back around, she didn't even have enough time to think before she smacked into the side of a small car. 

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Nick exitted his taxi and ran into the emergency room. He found Sara sitting in the waiting room with a cast on her left arm. "Sara." Nick announced his presence and Sara looked up tearily. "What happened?" he asked and took a seat across from her.

"It's just a broken wrist." She told him, holding back tears.

"How did this happen?"

"There was a truck. I swerved out of the way, but didn't see the other car."

"Are they okay?" Sara rapidly shook her head.

"I killed the driver." She couldn't contain her tears any longer. "There was a little girl in the car." she sobbed out as Nick's eyes went wide. "She's in the OR right now. They don't think she's gonna make it." Sara let it all out as she continued to break down.

* * *

Sara sat asleep in her chair and used Nick's jacket as a blanket. He watched her squirm uncomfortably in her small set. A doctor appeared from the hallway and Nick stood as the doctor approached him. The doctor sighed before deliving his grave news. "She didn't make it." A police officer followed his words and walked towards Sara, who Nick now saw was awake. The officer led Sara out of the waiting room. Nick let out a deep breath before leaving the small, dark room. 

TBC

* * *

_I know, (really) short chapter. But it seems longer when you write it out on a piece of paper. Next chapter's longer. And it's also the last one._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Last chapter. **CHARACTER DEATH!** I hate having to put that. It ruins it.

**Chapter 8**

"Miss Sidle is a grown woman, your honor. She is a former crime scene investigator, yet she still made the mistake of driving drunk. And it resulted in the death of two people!" Bryan Wells' attorney told Judge Browning and the rest of the court. "My client's wife and daughter were killed by her careless actions and she must be brought to justice!"

"Thank you Miss Gellar. Mr. Landree, your witness." The judge told Adam Landree.

"I would like to call Sara Sidle to the stand." Sara walked to the bench, was sworn under oath and took a seat. "Miss Sidle, is it true that before you hit Mrs. Wells' car, you narrowly escaped a run in with a large truck?" He asked, more so stating a fact then asking a question.

"Yes." Sara told the court.

"And when this truck almost collided with you, you turned around to look at it."

"Yes." She said again.

"Your honor, I believe my client is only guilty of not looking at the road. She turned to look at something and wasn't paying attention. I don't think it has to do with the fact she was impaired. After all, her blood/alcohol level was only .08. I think the accident was effect of Miss Sidle's looking at the truck, which any normal person would do, given the circumstances. But not because she had been drinking... Thank you, your honor." He said and returned to his seat.

"You may take your seat Miss Sidle..." Judge Browning told her and she got up and took a seat next to her lawyer. "Alright... We'll take a 15 minute recess and jury will go to council when we come back." Peope began to pour out of the courtroom. Sara walked past Grissom, Catherine, Warrick and Greg on her way out the doors.

"Sara, this isn't looking very promising." Adam told her as they were in one of the conference rooms in the back. "The best you can hope for is 35 without parole." Sara paced around the room. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air. I'll be back in a few." he said and left the room. Sara walked over to the vent in the wall after she was sure he was gone. She opened it up and pulled a gun from the wall. She set it down on the table as she took a seat and stared long and hard at it. She heard a sudden knock at the door and she rushed it into her lap to hide it.

"Come in." She said. Nick entered the room and shut the door behind him.

"Hey. How ya holding up?" He asked.

"Not so good." she told him solemnly. "Nick, do you think you could give me a few minutes alone?" He noticed her fiddling with something under the table.

"What are you holding?" he asked.

"Nothing." She lied. He could see right through her lie and walked over to her. Sara tried to get a good hold on it to keep him from seeing or getting it from her but she lost the battle as Nick fought with her to get the object. He pulled it from her grasp and eyed the object intensely, then turned his attention to Sara.

"What were you going to do Sara? Shoot yourself!" he yelled at her.

"You don't understand!" she screamed back, hot tears forming a path down her face.

"What wouldn't I understand!"

"You didn't kill anyone! You didn't kill a little girl!" She sobbed out and fell back in her seat as she cried. Nick knelt down in front of her.

"Sara... killing yourself isn't the answer." She wiped her eyes and tried to calm down a bit.

"Yes it is." She quietly said. "I have nothing left to live for, Nick. My career... My life is over. I'm an alcoholic... a drug addict. Now I'm a murderer. I'm going to jail. I could get the death penalty for this! What life do I have left to live?" she screamed.

"Sara, I can help you. Just please... don't do this." he said, trying to hold back his own emotions.

"I'm so beyond help, Nick." She chuckled coldly. "You tried though. I didn't. I didn't try and stop... and now. Now it's too late." Sara thought about the time. "Court's going to be back in session in a few minutes, I have to do this now."

"There's no way I could change your mind?" He asked with a watery smile. She shook her head slowly and smiled back at him, then stood up and hugged him.

"Thank you Nick. Thank you so much much." She said, kissing him on the cheek. "Your such a good friend... I love you."

"I love you too Sara... I'm sorry." He cupped her cheek with his hand and whispered "Good-bye." He began to walk towards the door but Sara stopped him.

"Nicky, it's not good-bye." She smiled. "I'll be seeing you." She said and picked up the gun. He left the room and closed the door, then leaned against the wall outside as he silently cried over his friend. He winced when he heard the gun fire and watched as the people within ear-shot of the room ran in. Some came out screaming for an ambulance and 911. Nick walked back to the court room slowly to tell his friends...

THE END

* * *

_I just realized I never actually used the song "Scars" in this fic. lol Oh well._


End file.
